


WIPstuck

by IsLife



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Birthday Party, Character Study, Dad Egbert is a Good Dad, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Online Friendship, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:54:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 11,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsLife/pseuds/IsLife
Summary: Heres all my unfinished/unedited homestuck fics. I might finish them at some point but for now here you go.





	1. Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is easily my least favorite fic. I posted it on tumblr and have regretted it everyday since. It was written December 2017

“it's so wikd we botg grew up icesolated” Roxy typed she knew it was late, but she couldn't be alone right now.

“Roxy it's 4 am why are you still up. Also please hold on I need to find my glasses!” 

After about five minutes Jade sent another message “Okay sorry about that! John likes to hide my glasses.” She wrote. 

“haha yea john is a thicker” Roxy typed almost instantly seeing that weird typo. “tricser” she corrected. 

“Yeah this is definitely his lamest prank, though! You're right, about the isolation! It's so crazy that so many of us went most of our lives without seeing others. It's also kinda sad now that I'm really thinking about it…” 

“im so soory!!!! lets change the subject!” Roxy typed wondering why she would even use something so depressing as a conversation starter. “y r u up so laye”

“I could ask you the same thing! I was looking for my glasses, but why are you up? 

Roxy looked at the screen for a while, thinking of what her next move should be. “I ws just thinkin bout life on ole earth” 

“Roxy have you been drinking again? I assumed your typos were worse because its late, but you're starting to worry me.” 

“naw dont worry bout it, im just tired.” Roxy lied doing her best to avoid further misspells, but it's difficult with all the tears in her eyes. 

“I think I should come over! I'll probably be up anyway and it seems like you will be too!”

Nonononononononono. Roxy couldn’t let Jade see her like this, but she can't come up with something to say. She types out a few drafts, none of them sound natural. Her face is getting disgustingly red from furiously wiping away tears. Tears come down faster, she's so stressed why can't she just think?

“I'll just come over to check on you” Roxy saw the message around the same time she saw a flash of green in her room. She forget Jade could teleport. 

The two girls looked each other in the eye. Roxy could only imagine what the cute dog girl could be thinking, seeing her friend sitting on the floor with her laptop, red in the face crying like she just witnessed all her friends die again. 

After a second Jade broke the silence. “Roxy, I know we're not very close, so I'll understand if you want me to call someone else, but do you need to talk?” Roxy had no idea what to do. No one had ever seen her cry before, it felt weak and vulnerable. She didn't like it one bit. 

Jade sat down beside the depressed former alcoholic and got straight to the point “Please tell me what's wrong. I want to help.” 

She couldn't keep this up long she decided to just go for it. “im so lonely jade, no one understands what it's like to miss so much basic stuff! except the striders, but they never wanna talk about serious junk.” she was sniffing and begin to hyperventilate. 

Jade began patting her back, once her breathing slowed down she ran her fingers through Roxy's hair. “I understand Roxy. None of my friends ever got what my life was like either! It always made me feel even more left out! But we've got each other now!” 

“i know they care so much I just….” the sobbing gets louder. Her eyes burn so much her breathing picks up again. Jade pulls Roxy’s face into her chest. Roxy moves closer and wraps her arms around her shoulders. 

“Of course they care! They’ve just never been through the same stuff we have.” Roxy is literally on the other girls lap at this point. She's never felt safer. 

“I love you Jade” 

“I love you too Roxy!” 

The two girls stay like this until they eventually drift off. 

((Hope this was enjoyable! If it wasn't clear this is supposed to be the first time Roxy cried in front of another person!))


	2. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old fic for a shipping event. I might have posted it on tumblr and I refuse to reread it. Written January 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaderoxy is good and I'm sorry about this unedited mess. The notes at the end of the chapter were my real actual notes and I'm so sorry

Jade walked into the dinner, her girlfriend Roxy already sitting there with an unholy amount pancakes in front of her. They're supposed to be on a double date right now, but it looks like the other couple isn't here yet.Jade sits down as Roxy takes a giant syrupy bite. 

“Hi Jade!” she says excitedly and slightly muffled. Roxy really loved pancakes, she cares more about eating the fifteen in front of her than talking. Jades fine with that though, she thinks it's cute watching her eat. 

After a bit later Rose and Kanaya show up. “Hi Mom, Jade.” Rose says, she's staring at the pancakes. “I actually can’t be staying, but Kanaya will talk for both of us. Have fun sweetie.” Rose gave Kanaya a kiss and walked out the door 

“Hello Jade.” she said sliding into the spot next to her. The two of them chatted for a bit and eventually Roxy jumped in too. 

“Hey babe I forgot to ask how your date with davepeta went last night?” Roxy asked. 

“Oh it was great! We went mini golfing!” Jade replied. Kanaya looked a little perplexed. 

“I'm Sorry, But I Thought You Two Believed In Human Monogamy.” 

“Nah that's for suckers.” Roxy replied as more pancakes got placed down. “Jade and davepeta have been going for about six months and Me, Janey, and Calliope are hittin a year next month.” 

“Yeah I think Monogamy isn't really for us!” Jade says feeding Roxy pancakes. “Why do you ask?” 

“Rose and I Have Been Talking About Seeing Other People.” Kanaya noticed the other two girls get concerned and she corrected herself. “By That I Mean Dating Other People While Still Being Married. Sorry I Thought That Was Obvious” 

“Me and Roxy are just tired still! But who were you too thinking about seeing?” Jade asked still feeding Roxy pancakes. 

“Rose Is With Terezi Right Now Actually But Im Planning On Asking Someone Else.” she looked down at her own pancakes and avoided eye contact. 

“Who?” Jade prompted. 

“Babe she means us” Roxy finished for her sister in law. 

“Oh! Yeah sure thing Kanaya why don't you go to the bar while we talk it over!” 

“Babe I wanna date her” Roxy whispered after Kanaya walked away “I need to be dating a hot alien vampire” 

“Kanaya is super nice and she's definitely pretty! Let's just make sure Rose is okay first. Hey Kanaya!” Jade had Kanaya back over. 

They talked it over and after calling Rose they officially started dating Kanaya. 

“Wait noooooo” Roxy said “We need to take Kan out on an awesome first date!” 

“You Really Don't-” 

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. Babe, babe” Roxy said putting her finger over Kanaya's lips. 

“Roxy! This was a date! Sit back down you ate too much” Jade said 

After that they stayed at the dinner until Rose came to pick up her loving wife. 

“Bye you guys!” Rose was clearly tired from whatever her and Terezi were doing. 

“Wait Rose I Have To Ask Them Something. Why And How Did You Eat So Many Pancakes.” 

“We know the dinner owner and Roxy didn't eat for some reason yesterday.” Apparently Roxy had began taking a nap for some reason and couldn't answer herself. 

After the pair left Jade picked up Roxy and flew her to their home. 

\---------  
Hope you enjoyed also Rose was tired because her and Terezi went hiking. Thanks for reading! Also also I have no idea what's with the pancakes. I'm just hungry.


	3. ♡Arasol♡

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was based on a prompt, but I have no clue what it was. It's an unfinished arasol thing I never thought would see the light of day. Written February 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm keeping all the old titles, lmao.

“Hey Sollux” Aradia said interrupting something her matesprite was doing on the computer.  
“yeah aa”  
“Have we been on a date?”  
“not really we ju2t hang out and talk”  
“We should do something today! It's a human holiday called Valentine's Day and everyone else is doing something!”  
“yeah okay. wanna go hang out iin one of our area2?”  
“No we can stay here! I just wanna do something like a human date!”  
“why are you 2o fascinated by human culture” he said laughing  
“I don't know! I just find it interesting!”  
“okay 2o what do humans do on dates?”  
“Well they eat and talk and then walk to their hives and kiss. If the date went well they go inside.”  
“well let's go grab some food.”  
They then proceeded to eat some food they found and talked about various things. Like Sollux's moirail, Aradia's dream bubble drama and lots of other things. After that they walked for a bit until they reached the teleporter room.  
“is this where-” he was cut off by Aradia's lips.  
“i guess this is where we go inside then.”


	4. ◇Gamkar Outfit Swap◇

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In docs this was written in bright purple Written February 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still some of my much older stuff, I'm so sorry.

“GAMZEE WHERE'S MY SWEATER” Karkat yelled to his moirail who was sitting across from him 

“WhAt SwEaTeR kArKaT? :o)” Gamzee replied while rubbing Karkat sweater on his face. 

“GAMZEE!” The mutant blood yelled grabbing his sweater. “I NEED THIS I'M ALREADY NERVOUS ENOUGH WITHOUT YOU STEALING MY FAVORITE SWEATER” 

“bRo DoNt Be NeRvOuS hAvE sOmE fAyGo”  
“GAMZEE PLEASE NOT NOW WITH THE FAYGO. I WANT TO BE LUCID ON MY DATE WITH TEREZI.”  
“SoRrY bRo I gUeSs Im JuSt A lItTlE nErVoUs ToO.”  
“WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS ITS TAVROS. YOU COULD SHOW UP AND SLAP THE BOY AND HED THANK YOU.”  
“yEaH bUt ThAtS wHy He LeFt VrIsKa. I wAnT hIm To LoVe mE.  
“OKAY WOW BRO YOURE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. WELL LISTEN JUST BE NICE TO THE KID ALRIGHT? GIVE HIM YOUR BEST AND HELL LOVE THE HELL OUT OF YOU.”  
“cAn I wEaR yOuR sWeAtEr?”  
“HOW WILL THAT EVEN A LITTLE HELP YOU?”  
“ItS wArM aNd MaKeS mE feEl BeTtEr AnD rEmIndS mE oF yOu”  
“FINE” Karkat yelled taking off his sweater giving it to Gamzee  
“WANT MY PANTS TOO?” He added jokingly while Gamzee's eyes lit up at the idea.  
“FINE TAKE EM OFF WE’LL TRADE” Gamzee then hopped up and hugged his pantless bro and then continued the switch.  
“IM LEAVING BEFORE I LOSE MORE OF MY CLOTHES.”  
“GoOd LuCk BrO i LoVe YoU”  
“I-I LOVE YOU TOO.” He said blushing while exiting the room.


	5. Save him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another old one, I've always wanted to finish it, but I have no idea how to write alternian mituna. It was written February of 2018

It's hard living with adult fuschias. Only two people know what that's like, the young heiress and The Helmsman. Both of them have been trapped by Her Imperious Condescension for many sweeps and now Feferi, the young heiress will try and get them off of The Condesce’s ship.


	6. Sprite AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written February 2018, it was supposed to be a complex humanstuck au, but then I got bored

Jane Egbert is a lonely girl. Her only real friends are her siblings, Tavris and Catavros. She's turning sixteen today, but this birthday also marks the anniversary of her father's death and the last time she saw her grandma and her real brother John. Last year they got jumped after their birthday dinner, Jane's Dad told them to run so Nanna grabbed John's hand and ran. She told Jane to follow them, but Jane is a lot faster than those two, so she ran ahead without thinking and never saw them again. She also gained her hatred of police that day, they were less than helpful, but Catavros and Tavris gave her shelter at the very least. By the time they located her old house, her old family had moved out. 

Tavris and Catavros still gave their sister an awesome birthday though. They hung out at the park and ate cake they stole from mcDonald's. Regardless, it still feels empty without her brother and grandma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just reread this for the first time and how tf did they steal cake from McDonald's jskshdksgxjsgsjdgjx


	7. Tiny Trolls Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I honestly I have no idea why I didnt post this, I really loved writing for this fic.

This chapter is offically posted!


	8. Tiny Trolls Prototype

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was the original verison of tiny trolls. Or maybe a prequel? Idfk. Written May 2018

“OKAY EVERYONE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW!” Karkat yelled “LISTEN I KNOW YOU'RE ALL WORRIED-” 

“We’re really not!” Vriska yelled from the back. 

“THANKS FOR SPEAKING FOR THE ENTIRE GROUP AND INTERRUPTING SOMETHING THAT IS CLEARLY IMPORTANT, VRISKA! ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU ALL MIGHT BE CONCERNED ABOUT THE METEOR, GIVEN THE FACT THAT WE’RE HEADED DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN, BUT THANKS TO ARADIA AND NEPETA WE’VE FOUND A WAY TO GET OFF.” He then gestured to the twelve pods behind them and digressed “TO AVOID SHENANIGANS WE’VE DECIDED THOSE SHARING AN ASPECT WILL BE SHARING PODS. WE’LL LAUNCH IN ONE HOUR.” 

Sollux had everything he needed with him already so he shared goodbyes with his moirail Aradia and then a few other friends. Meulin took her time saying farewell to Horuss and Kurloz before coming up to him and questioningly signing “us two?” he nodded his head yes and she replied “Cool! Which's pod?” He shrugged. “Karkat will probably text us later” 

Which he did and after a sec everyone was in front of their pod. “Let's go.” with that everyone climbed in, some crying. Sollux didn't have a tear to shed. He knew Aradia would be fine, especially with Porrim by her side and they may get to talk later anyway. Meulin didn't share the same view. She wasn't crying her eyes out or anything, but there were some tears. Who could blame her though, she said goodbye to two quadrantmates and one of them was stuck with Eridan Ampora. He mused this aloud before remembering Meu is profoundly deaf, so he signed it getting a lot of laughs as a result.

“How are you?” she signed looking worried as she realized it wasn't really reacting to anything. “I'm fine” he signed in reply, but she wasn't buying it so he added. “Aradia will be fine and I think I'll see her again.” This pleased Meulin, even though he was basically just quoting Aradia. The journey after that was very calm. 

Meulin and Sollux played games for the hours they were in the escape pod, it seemed like it took sweeps to land, but when they had they found.


	9. Tiny Trolls Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another complete, but unedited chapter. I might polish these up and start updating the fic again. We'll see.

“Okay guys I’ve loved hanging out with you this weekend, but I can't keep you a secret from my Dad anymore!” John said, his dad was currently at the store buying pants, but when he got back John had to tell him. 

The boys looked confused. “You guys do know what Dads are right?” they shook their heads and John sighed. “My Dad is the adult that lives with me and takes care of me, but now he's taking care of you guys too!” 

“Is he safe?” Tavros asked, John was appalled, how could his Dad not be safe? 

“Yes! My dad is awesome!” The guys looked apprehensive, but John was sure his new friends would come around. “You'll meet him when he gets home!” they looked really scared. “If he gets mad I can just put you guys in my sylladex okay?” they seemed to relax a bit. About an hour later Dad got home and ten minutes after that John went down stairs with two trolls in his pocket. 

“Hey Dad!” John father gave a smile and a big hug. 

“Hello son,” he started in his warm voice. “is something on your mind?” Dad could always read his son very well. 

“Dad, I have something I need to tell you.” John paused and realized he should show his new friends to Dad first. “Dad, meet Tavros and Rufioh!” he pulled the two out of his pocket and they sat in his hands. “Guys say hello!” 

“Hello.” Rufioh weakly said as Tavros shook. These guys were really scared of adults. 

“Hello, I'm Mr. Egbert, it's lovely to meet you. What might your name be?” He spoke in a kind gentle voice. 

“I'm Rufioh,” his confidence was back now. “and this is my dancestor Tavros.” Tavros waved and weakly said hi. 

“John put these two down the four of us have a lot to discuss.” John and his father sat on the floor, Rufioh and Tavros were placed on the table. Dad always got very formal when gathering information, this was not helping the tense vibe in the room.

“How long have you two been staying here?” Dad asked a little strongly. Tavros was sweating, even Rufioh’s voice was a bit shaky as he replied

“Two days, sir”

“Two days…” John's father trailed off and the trolls had reached a level of fear that shouldn't be possible. “John, have you been making sure they've gotten food?” 

“Yes Dad!” 

“Water?” 

“Yes Dad!” 

“Did you give them beds?” 

“Uh-” The two hadn't slept as far as John knew. Dad shifted his attention back to the boys on the table. 

“I'll get you boys a nice bed as soon as I can, have either of you had contact with anyone outside of my son.” Dad sounded warm again.

“No sir.” Tavros stuttered out. “Uh sir?” he asked nervously. 

“Yes?”

“What's a bed?” Dad rose his eyebrows and gave a quick glance at John.

“Have you boys seen John sleep?” they nodded. “A bed is the soft rectangle he's been resting on. What do you boys sleep on?” 

The two proceed to explain was was basically a ball of slime, but upon learning there's no earth version of it they decided that they could try a bed. 

“John, I need to run out to the store again to find something for these boys to sleep on. Would you three like to come?” 

“No thanks Dad!” John replied, but Dad began looking at the two trolls. “Guys, do you wanna go with Dad to pick out a bed?” they shook their heads. Dad then headed out.

“See guys that wasn't so hard!” John said at his two friends. They agreed and went back to his room where John realised there were three more people he had yet to tell about his new friends. 

“You guys mind if I take a picture of you? I wanna show you to my other friends!” They agreed and smiled brightly for a picture, they seemed excited to meet John's other companions. John put the photo in the group chat that him and his best friends had made in pesterchum. Dave replied right away with a photo of two more aliens. 

“Anything like these two babes that crashed through my window on friday?” he captioned in his red text. Then Jade replied with a picture of two other ones. 

“Here's Kanaya and Porrim!” Dave then named his and Rose sent a picture of two alien girls taking to one another. 

After all three photos were sent John showed them to Tavros and Rufioh who identified the six girls as their friends. Apparently there was still many trolls missing, John knew he had to inquire.


	10. Tiny Trolls Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is unfinished and I can't remember why i stopped writing it. Oh well.

Today was the day Bro would return so Dave was doing everything to prep Aradia and Damara. He had explained what his brother was like and they seemed to understand the danger. He told them they would have to stay hidden while he was around and they seemed just fine with that. 

“So Dave how long will your brother be visiting you?” Aradia asked later that day. Dave laughed. 

“He's not visiting, he lives here, he’ll be here until his work monday.” Aradia and Damara looked surprised. 

“I can't believe you have to live with this guy!” She sounded furious. Dave shrugged. 

“I've gotta have someone I guess.” He sounded more resigned than anything. Aradia got a spark in her eyes and turned to Damara. They exchanged some words in what he's pretty sure is Japanese and then stopped without translating for him. 

“You guys should teach me that one day.” He said while starting to draw his comic SBAHJ on his computer. 

“What east beforan? But then how will we talk about you!” she joked. 

“That's fair, carry on then.” He wasn't about to push it


	11. Caliborn is Evil, An Essay Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter with Roxy! And Nepeta! I made Rufioh sleep the whole time because I dont like him!

Roxy Lalonde was sitting with her two little roommates Rufioh and Nepeta. Really only Nepeta as Rufioh was peacefully sleeping on Roxy's bed while Nepeta and Roxy sat on the desk and in the desk chair. Nepeta was telling Roxy about troll quadrants and her own quadrantmate Equius 

“So Equius is my moirail, do you understand?” Nepeta had been very helpful in explaining all the ins and outs of troll romance, by some miracle Roxy actually did understand. 

“Yeah I get it, you must really miss that guy a lot.” Roxy had no idea exactly what Nepeta had to leave behind up until today. This talk really opened her eyes. 

“Oh yeah! Equius was pawsitively amazing, I hope I'll get to see him again some day!” She looked really optimistic.

“Do you have any clue where he landed? Was he in one of those little pods like you?” 

“Uh, he definitely got in a pod, with Mituna I think, but I have no clue where he is! I'm sure he's okay, though, Equius is very strong and smart! And Mituna is very powerful, he could handle lots of stuff!” 

“Yeah Nep, I bet they're doing Great!” 

“Even if they didn't land somewhere nice I'm sure they're fine. I mean of course they are!” 

“Nep are you okay? Are those tears Nep really I know there fine I bet they're with a nice human like-” 

“Unless it's a mean human! What if he's getting experimented on or hurt! He's very strong, but no one can fight off a human!” After that it got hard to make sense of. Nepeta was really losing it, she went from tears in her eyes to sobbing in what seemed like a second. 

“Nep, nep please…” She couldn't calm down, Roxy knew she needed back up. 

“DIRK!!!!”  
“Dirk!! I need help! My friend Nepeta is lying on my desk crying!” 

“Can you show me?”


	12. Fun Superhero Thingy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember writing this and have no idea why it's titled that.

Your name is John Egbert, today is your twelfth birthday and you just got done reading your friends happy birthday messages. You four have been best friends for a very long time and apparently today two of them will have a special birthday surprise for you. You tried to see if they'd tell you now before it came in the mail, but no one's replying to your messages. Instead of waiting around for someone to get back to you, you just head down stairs. 

You bump into your dad in the living room, he was bringing more cake to your room, you ask if your presents are here and he informs you that only one have arrived and you'll have to wait to open it. That sounds like a load of bs to you, but whatever you can wait a few hours. You tell him you're going to watch some movies until present time, but he insists you shouldn't do anything until after your presents get here, so you go up stairs to your room and play some dumb computer games instead. Mostly just happy wheels. 

After about two hours of that, you hear a car pull up in the driveway, you assume its it's the delivery guy and prepare to go down stairs. You hear the doorbell ring and think about giving your dad time to hide the gift of he wants to, but then you hear a familiar voice. You can't quite place it, so you open your door to go down stairs. You walk down the hall and when the front door comes into view you find owner of the voice was Bro Strider and you see two familiar faces. A girl with a purple headband and a loser with a red ribbon tapped to his trademark baseball tee. 

“Dave? Rose?” You exclaim excitedly while running down the stairs. Dave gives a casual “hey john” before you tackle them both into a hug. You squeeze them tightly forcing them to drop their luggage, you don't care though this is the first trim you've all been together in person! 

“Wait where's Jade?” You say letting them go.  
“She couldn't get a flight.” Rose said simply, wow she is less wordy in person. 

“Yeah man, it's pretty hard to schedule flights when you live alone on an island and also you're twelve.” Dave elaborates for her. 

“Oh man, well maybe we can go to her next year!” You say, with sincerity as if Jade Harley doesn't live in the middle ocean. 

“Son why don't you go show your friends around the house?” Dad asks in a way that makes it clear you will be showing them around the house now and there's nothing to be done about it. “You two can just leave your luggage by the couch you'll be back down in a minute.” 

They comply and then follow you upstairs where instead of showing them around the whole house you just show them your room. Dave laughs at your movie posters and they the two you jokingly argue about movies while Rose snoops through all your stuff. This goes on for twenty minutes before you're all called back down for cake. You all head down stairs just in time to see Dave's Bro leave. Dave seems unfazed. 

The remaining five of you eat some cake very quickly and then move on to presents. Your father insists upon his present being opened last, so you go for Jade's first. You open the small green box to see something you have literally no use for. It's a phone case with a dog print on it. You don't even have a phone or a dog for that matter! The note attached says it was accidentally sent to her with some stuff she bought for her dog so she thought she'd give it to you and make up for it with a better present next year. You guess its a cool enough phone case? 

“John can you do Rosie's next? I wanna see look on your face, but I've gotta go.” Miss Lalonde asks, Rose looks a bit disappointed, but to be polite you quickly discard the case and move on to the purple box. Inside is a clear mug that says “Nic Cage Grease” in cursive. You start smiling like crazy. 

“I can't believe you actually got me this Rose!” This is probably the best and worst thing ever, you can't wait to show Jade. 

“I did say it was my first priority.” She says with a slight smirk. The smirk quickly fades as Ms. Lalonde comes over and kisses her on the forehead and says 

“Okay Rose you be good for Mr. Egbert! Bye!” Rose looks in disbelief and you look at your father. 

“Ms. Lalonde and Mr. Strider have agreed to let you stay here for the duration of your visit.” He explains with a warm smile. Rose relaxes a tiny bit. You guess she was just worried about her mom not running it by your dad, how nice of her! Dad slides you the red box and inside are a pair of black pajama pants. They look pretty normal to you, but Rose starts snickering when she sees them. You turn them around to see “Sweaty” hand stitched into the butt of the pants and fall over laughing. Your father picks up the gift. 

“These look hand stitched did your brother do them?” He inquires politely. Dave looks up at him at him and lets out a little chuckle

“My bro? Nah he doesn't sew stuff like that, you're looking at a Dave Strider original.” Your dad looks a bit surprised and compliments Dave on his extreme skill. Then once you've settled down he hands you his gift. There's only one this year which is a bit odd, but as you open it you realize this is definitely worth being your only gift. You hold your phone in your hands, it appears to be completely set up. All its it's missing is a case. 

As if reading your mind your dad hands you the green one with the paw print Jade gave you and you put it on. “Thanks for all these awesome gifts you guys! This is the best!” 

“I'm glad you enjoy them son,” he's interrupted by a ding from the kitchen. “Oh that must be my cake, John will you give me a hand?” You nod and follow him into the kitchen He pulls the cake out on his own and then turns to you “Those were some odd gifts from your friends, you kids sure jokesters now a days!” 

“Oh yeah, you don't even know! A few months ago we were all talking about con air and they were making fun of nic cage for being so gross at the end, but said that he still looks awesome!” You explain enthusiastically, they ended up joking about you drinking sweat and wearing pants like those it was odd looking back on it. Your dad does seem to be following though. “Yeah, but they joked about making me those and now they did! Oh man have they even seen con air? They need to see it again!” 

Your dad smiles and nods he says he’ll bring you the movie then head to bed. He mentions not wanting to bug you guys. How sweet! Unfortunately he also takes your sick new phone. Whatever you and your


	13. Dumb Long Distance Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to stop writing this because it had no story and I was just projecting my want for real friends. Written October 2018

A young man gets out of school, the name of this young man is John Egbert and he’s just had a rough day at school. He’s always the last of his friends to get of class, but his phones dead, so he has to wait until he gets to his computer to talk to any of them. After a bit he’s home and he can run up to his computer to message his pals.   
He logs on and is greeted by every online member of the group chat either saying “Hi John” or “John, do your homework.” This happens almost everyday, but today was especially stressful, so he tries to argue. As soon as he says he’ll just do it over the weekend most of his friends block him. This is all part of a system GA and the other GA came up with when they found out some of their friends were failing classes. The basics of the system is someone logs on to pesterchum, they are asked about their homework, if they have not done the homework they must do it, if they refuse they are blocked by everyone online minus the GAs, they’re only unblocked if they need help or if they’re done with homework. In accordance to those rules John sends a picture of his completed homework to GA. He’s welcomed back into the group chat, but at this point he just wanna relax and watch a movie, so that’s what he does.

A young woman stands in her bedroom, the name of this young woman is Rose Lalonde and she’s been out of school for a few hours, but the last batch of her friends have only been out of school for a bit. There's not many people online, though. Her cousin also isn’t home at the moment and she has no clue where her mother has gone off too, so she’s basically home alone. She’s also very very bored, she doesn’t have any school friends and her online friends are busy. She checks her computer again to find her good friend John is watching a movie. This means he’ll be happy to talk all about whatever he’s watching. Rose begins a voice call.  
Around eleven and after a two hour long conversation, John falls asleep and Rose has to find something else to do with herself. She decides to begin writing fan fiction until she passes out around one a.m.


	14. I Didnt Title This One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write, but it's so boring lmao. Written January 2019

Your name is Dave Strider and today is an average day, your alarm is going off as it does everyday at three. You turn it off, get up and slide your shades on to your face. You then put on your clothes and let your morning routine really start. 

First you creep into your bros room to make sure he's not early, you already know he's not, if he was you’d be strifing, that's the whole point of waking up at three am, but nonetheless you must check. He isn't there, you give Cal a fist bump then move to the bathroom. You brush your teeth, take a piss and realize you forgot your phone like an idiot. You grab your phone and drop it into your sylladex along with your keys. Legally you don't even have your permit yet, but you've been able to drive as long as you could reach the pedals. This is lucky for you otherwise you’d have to walk to Mr. Chen’s place. 

Mr. Chen runs a DVD store twenty minutes from your apartment and he’s been employing you since you were in elementary school. You use employing lighty, back then you were only sweeping after school then doing the hour long trek back home. Now you drive down there any chance you get, mostly to get out of the house, but you really love the drive. Driving just clears your head, you won't say it's just you and the road, of course there's people you live in Houston it's a busy city, but for the most part you can just zone out and you love it. 

Anyway time for the routine to kick back in as you pull in to the shopping center where Mr. Chen's shop is. You park and hop out and unlock the front door. You used to take naps on the bench outside the store until he saw you one day and told you to just sleep inside. This was a good two years ago, back when you still walked here. Luckily that's changed so you have more time to nap behind the counter. You set up your pillow and blanket on the floor and settle in, it’s three thirty now so you'll have a good two and a half hour nap if you fall asleep right away which luckily you do. 

You wake up to the sound of the bell above the door ringing, Mr. Chen's here. You get up and roll your blanket around your pillow and put it on the counter, you don't wanna forget it like yesterday. “Hello Dave” 

“Hey Mr. Chen” he looks you up and down and gets a displeased look at his face. He used to comment on your shades, your white jeans, and your dyed hair every time he saw you. He’s improved a lot since then, you honestly don't mind the look he gives you. The jeans are ugly, that's why you wear them. The hair is tacky, that's why you dye it. The shades are just genuinely cool. Oh shit, he's been trying to get your attention. Alright time to focus. 

So you helped Mr. Chen organize some recent boxes of donations. You tell him what certain games he's never heard of are and sort by genre. At six forty you both start putting the sorted ones away and at six fifty you're out the door. 

It's a short drive to your school and you can run in and grab breakfast. Your school is what the state calls “less privileged” so you have a free lunch and breakfast program. Luckily for you bro lies about his income so you're treated to an egg and cheese sandwich. You eat that as quickly as possible to make your way to the library. You're not a big reader, but you hate the noise of the cafeteria so you make a point not to stay long.

You move to your table at the corner and do last night's homework, you work right after school so morning is your only shot. Luckily for you, you almost always have no homework. Today is an outlier, you have two things to do. One is a science paper that takes literally five minutes, but your English assignment lowkey almost makes you late for first period. 

You're not, and you drift through the rest of your school day with relative ease. This is all just routine honestly, even the classes you like are boring. Whatever, at least you can make comics at work. 

Mr. Chen barely gets any customers so you really do just get to draw. You usually message your friends as well, but they've been mia the last two days. It happens from time to time, John hangs out with his dad, Rose loses internet, and Jade is always exploring her island. Still sucks when it happens though. 

You try messaging John once. No reply. 

Whatever SBAHJ time. 

You on and off draw while a handful of customers come in and leave without buying anything. Eventually eleven rolls around and you can lock the door and clean up. There's not a lot to be done just a few out of place DVDs here and there. You're done in ten minutes and able to help finish the box of donations. It was a lot of children's movies and old playstation games. You get out of there around twelve ten and drive home. 

You sneak into your apartment at twelve thirty and check to be sure Bro is really gone. Once that's done you take your shower and crash into bed. It's one so you should get a good two hours in.


	15. 413 2k19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be for 413 this year but I didnt get it done on time, also it's kind of boring imo. Written April 2019 (obviously)

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was twenty three years ago he crashed on earth, it is only today he will be given a name! 

What will the name of this young man be?

Oh fuck, He doesn't need a name! His name is John Egbert! It's been ten years! We don't need to name this fucker any more! 

Anyway, your name is John. As was previously mentioned it is your birthday. One blue cake is sitting in your room, it's all the baking anyone will allow the Nannas to do considering it's their birthdays as well as yours. 

Hopefully this is all you'll have to do this year, the older you get the less you want to make a fuss of things. You’d much rather sit alone in your house than have your friends trouble themselves. 

That dream is cut short by a ring of the door bell. You guess you better see who that is. 

You walk down stairs to find your lovely boyfriend standing in the doorway. Spending the day with him would be alright! He's always fun and you never feel like you're bothering him. This could fun!

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You are now Dave Strider. You have been figuratively desperately scrambling around like a tool since you woke up trying to make sure everything was set for your best bros bday. Luckily the other four portions of the party have other dumbasses dealing with it, you couldn't deal with that. 

Whatever no time to think of the horrors that could have been, you have to check on the shit. Your boyfriend made you a checklist where did that go? 

Oh, it's in your sylladex, damn you're dumb. You take it out of your sylladex and check the list.

Cake. Mr. Crocker has that down, he'd never miss cake on his kids birthday. 

Decorate. Awesome, better rather up some people to help you with that.

“HEY BABE!” Karkat is making some pop tarts for you at the moment so hes in the kitchen while you pretend to relax in bed

“YEAH?” 

“CAN YOU HELP DECORATE THE PARTY?” You hear a long and loud groan. You'll take that as a yes. Davepeta can't be trusted with cooking so they should be able to help along with Harley. Awesome that's a team of four what's next.

Food. Right, peanut check all existing food and talk to the cooks, the former can be done later. The cooks need to be dealt with now. Ughhhh fiiiine

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You are now Rose Lalonde-Maryam, you and your lovely wife have been learning to cook since the wedding, meaning you are one of the parties cooks. Luckily for the two of you the baking is being covered by someone else, cooking for the Crockers is bad enough without having to worry about cakes and cupcakes and brownies or whatever you'll be having. 

Oh would you look at that, you're getting a call from the party planner himself. 

“Why hello there Mr. Strider, whatever could you be interested in on this lovely morning.” 

“Rose, I'm begging you, I'm literally on my hands in knees in my bed here, shut up karkat, please can we cut the shit.” 

“Just give Kanaya the phone!” You hear Karkat shout.

“I'll compromise.” you say putting the phone on the counter and putting speaker mode on. 

“What the hell does that mean!” 

“Oh Karkat hello dear!” Kanaya says, she's been worried about him all morning, it's the main reason you won’t antagonize them any more. 

“Kanaya hey! Are you okay, I know it's a lot and you and Rose and still new at cooking!” 

“Oh of course I'm just fine and you?” 

“I'm great! Me and Dave are awesome!” 

“Cool now that a touching reunion between the palest couple in paradox space as been accomplished and everyone's mental health is secure, how's the food coming?” 

You gasp in faux hurt “Brother dearest, you certainly aren't implying that you don't care for our health? And our poor spouses without their moirails in this stressful time, I'm shocked at you Dave.” 

“For starters me and Karkat aren't even married he's not my spouse he's my boyfriend, some of us weren't so impatient to tie the knot with our hot alien soulmate okay? Also seriously how's the food coming?”

“Did you just call Kanaya hot? I mean you're certainly not wrong, but-”

“Yes he did, Yes I am, and the food is coming along just fine everything should be ready on time don't worry”

“Awesome thanks Kan, bye” He hangs up 

“Wonderful now we can properly focus” You say.

The second the words pass your lips Kanaya grabs you by the shoulders and turns you to face her. “Calm down. Everything's okay and this is will all be fine.”

Dammit, she reads you like a book. “I'm perfectly fine” 

“Mhm of course you are” She gives your check an absent minded pap and you both get back to work.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You are now Jade Harley. Everyone is doing their part for the Crocker/Egbert birthday party, but all you're really doing is making sure Jasperose and Davepeta aren't wrecking havoc as they like to do. So as the three of you sit in one of your trees, you text all the party planners and see if they'll need anything. 

It's not like you don't love hanging out with these two, you do! You're literally dating one of them, but it's your brothers birthday, you want to help. 

Dave replies and says he’ll need you and Davepeta later! Yay! You just have to wait for further instructions. 

“Davepeta!”

“Yea?” they reply in their goofy accent. You met a few Nepetas in the dream bubbles and you've heard Dave's voice a lot, they both have nice voices. Nepeta had a high voice with a bit of an accent causing her to roll her rs. Dave has what a few of you have deemed a casual country accent, it's only really bad on some words, but no doubts he's from Texas. Combining these two is what your lovely datemate has and you are among the minority of people who can listen to them without bursting out laughing. 

“Jade?” Whoops

“Yeah hi! Sorry!” 

“Was somebody thinking about my lovely voice again? Hmmmmmmm??” They lean over into you as they that, you're giggling uncontrollably.

“Did you want to hear me sing?” They say jokingly with a mischievous grin that only someone who was part cat could pull off.

They proceed to sing at you as Jasperose laughs and joins in. They sound ironically horrible and you cannot stop laughing. 

“Wait no seriously!!” They stop

“Dave says he’ll need our help later can everyone promise to behave and keep mischief and cat antics to a minimum?” 

“You purrmise?” You sigh

“Yes can you both purrmise to be on your best be behavior?” 

Davepeta nods “Sure can!” 

Good that was painless

“Jasprose?” She rolls her eyes 

“Of course. You know how I adore John and his hot mom” She says sarcastically 

“Why did you say that sarcastically? You flirt with Jane all the time and get along with John very well!” She winks at you. 

Cat antics!!

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You are now Aradia Megido. You have volunteered to be one of the four party planners this year. You haven't had a chance yet and it very exciting! 

Your lovely assistant/matesprit/moirail doesn’t agree, he doesn't seem to find the 13th of April as especially significant for the trolls. You find that odd, not only because you all met four great new friends that day and got a new hope for survival, but also because a lot of you guys died! Including you and him! 

Anyway, you're doing one of the Nannas portions of the party. Currently you are checking in with your head party planner the Knight of Time himself. You pick up the phone and give him a call. 

“Hi dave!” 

“What do you need?” Its Karkat! He sounds tired. 

“I was going to speak with Dave!” You say in an overly chipper voice, you're not really that excited, but it's fun to get Karkat all riled up. 

“Well, he’s clearly unavailable at the moment, so you can bring any and all inquiries to his call screener!” Oh now he’s annoyed, you'll drop it. It is 413 after all. 

“Could you ask him if he has any thing else he needs help with? Me and Sollux are on our way to put up our decorations, but that's about all we have to do!” The Nannasprite stuff is always easy.

“Sure yeah hold on,” You hear him set the phone down and then yell so loud you still hear him perfectly clearly. 

“HEY BABE.”

Dave is a little more muffled, but still audible. “YEAH? EVERYTHING OKAY?” 

“ARADIA WANTS TO KNOW IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE SHE CAN HELP WITH” There's a very brief pause then Dave's voice is closer and at a normal volume, Karkats still yelling, but hes always yelling 

“Oh hell yeah tell her to hit me up, I still have a lot of shit to do.” 

“She's on the phone now, should I tell her to message you?” 

“What? Fuck no, has she just been listening to this?” 

“No! The phone is on the table there see?” 

“That phone is this than a foot away from you! She can definitely hear!”

“Hey Aradia sorry about that.” Dave says, you both ignore Karkats angry mumbling.

“Oh it's perfectly fine! What can I help with?” You say putting a little extra cheer to show you really mean it.

“Yeah I got two things, but they're both pretty easy I think, it's just people shit I don't feel like doing. You down?” 

“Oh you know I am!” You love people shit! 

Well assuming it's good people.

“Awesome, you're the best, okay so we don't know where Arquius is. No one's seen him and very few people are willing to message him.” Oh that guys cool in your book! A little weird at times, but you can call him no problem!

“Oh fuck okay, I forgot someone has to make sure the shit is set up. Like the tables and shit, can you do three things?” 

“I'm actually headed that way already!” 

“Perfect, then the last thing is checking on Terezi, she should be fine and all, but she does like taking a break from spider hunting to come to things like this from time to time.” 

Oh fuck, that's what you were worried about, you love Terezi, but you guys are kinda tense right now given she's in love with one of the few people you genuinely don't like. You think you'll let Sollux handle that one. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You are now Sollux Captor. Your lovely matesprit/moirail has just asked you to ask Terezi if she’s coming back. It's always awkward when they talk, so you're not surprised she pawned it off to you. You and Terezi aren't awkward you just don't have anything to say! You don't really give a shit if she comes back, she's nice and all, but it's not any of your business. 

Whatever, you'll just suck it up you guess. 

Oh fuck she's calling you now

“Sollux? Is everything okay?” She sounds genuinely worried.

“Yeah, I'm fine what do you mean?” You get concerned for a moment until you realize it's probably a prank or some shit, none of these fuckers grew up at all you swear. 

“You just messaged me, but it sounded like something serious was going on? Do I need to come back?” It'll move quicker if you play along.

“Not unless you want to! Its 413!” That's such a stupid fucking name for the holiday, like seriously why did are all the holidays named numbers! 

“Oh? Is that what you wanted to message me about?” 

“Yeah, aa just asked me to let you know, apparently dv is to busy being a douche to message people himself” 

She laughs probably at your dumb fucking nicknames and jokingly “Probably too ‘busy’ with his sweet candy blooded matesprit” She puts a lot of emphasis on busy so there's no mystery what she's suggesting.

“Gross, I'm leaving!” You did what you were supposed to at this point. 

“WAIT! Don't forget to message me! Time works differently out here and we've gone too far for you to throw us into an offshoot now of all times!” Oh fuck you forgot about the time shit, you guess you do have to do that. Whatever.

“Yeah alright. Bye TZ”

“Byeee Sollux!” She says before hanging up.

You're just going to rip the bandaid off and snap Terezi. That's all she uses anymore, she says she loves the way it tastes. You really don't get that at all, but whatever.

You send her a snap of the ground with text reading. ‘hey can you talk’

She replies instantly with a snap of the cracks in space time ‘Y3S 1 C4N 1TS B33N 4 WH1LE MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST’ Oh fuck it has been been, you forgot how much of a headache her quirk gives you. Whatever, she’s cool. 

You send her another random picture of the ground. ‘yup, sure has.’ 

You begin typing out another one when she sends one back. It's another picture of space time. ‘W4S TH4T BLOOD?’ 

You look, fuck that's definitely blood what the hell! You look over to Aradia, how the fuck did that happen! 

You send a last message to Terezi ‘oh fuck shiit ii have to go’ 

You go over to Aradia. She has a huge gash in her side, what the fuck? “aa?” 

“What!?” She has a determined scowl on her face. 

“Aradia what's going on?” You're in a panic.

“Dont worry about it! I have to do this!” A big rock then floats in the air and hits her in the head, you have no idea why she had that!

“WHAT THE FUCK!” You grab the palmhusk she dropped and read her last conversation. Of course it was Arquius. That guy always tries to antagonize her! You don't know why she doesn't just stop talking to him!

Oh fuck finally there's a glow from under the rock. You quickly move it and get ready to scold your girlfriend.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You are now Kanaya Maryam-Lalonde. You and your lovely wife are taking a break because it was clearly overwhelming her. You've both successfully made it through one full episode of a wonderful earth show Roxy showed to you, it's about a nice human going through a families home and helping them to clean it up. You're told it's the best of its kind. You haven't seen any others, but you and Rose certainly like this one!

But now that you've made it successfully through one episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Rosemary stans Marie Kondo


	16. Kondaja Lyndata Double Date ft Bronwurd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to finish this, but I have no clue how to write Konyyl

Ardata Carmia and her beautiful girlfriend Lynera Skalbi are currently sitting at a double date with Konyyl Okimaw and Azdaja Knelax. 

Who will you be? 

You've decided to be Ardata Carmia, but this is a flexible decision, you might change your mind later. Who knows you're a fun guy like that. 

Anyway, you're sitting down waiting for the waiter to take your drink orders while Lynera makes some small talk with Konyyl. Damn she so good at this, you love your girlfriend. 

Be the girlfriend? 

Yes, you are now the girlfriend and this bitch across the table is clearly trying to imply that her and her ugly ass boyfriend are a better couple than you and Ardata! You're fucking livid!! 

She's telling some story about murder or some shit. Fuck this bitch!!

Be the bitch? 

Yes, you are now Konyyl and you're pretty sure this girl isn't even listening to your great story about how you and Daja robbed this place a few perigees ago! This is annoying as hell and what is he even doing over there?

Find out? 

You're now Azdaja and you saw at least six hundreds in that cash drawer at the front, you're sure of it. You and Kony could do for six hundred dollars. But how to get it… 

Okay okay, let's just be Lynera 

This girl is still tell her stupid story, how awesome! Her and her matesprit are criminals, that's great for them! What does she think that makes them better somehow? Hm? Is that what this stupid bitch thinks? You bet it is, fuck this girl!!

“- YES You and you're ugly greasy boyfriend are just !!!so!!! !!!fucking!!! !!!COOL!!! Me and Ardata are just so incredibly jealous!” You say with malice and sarcasm 

“well I didnt want to say anything but it definitely true” You see her stupid boyfriend bite back a laugh OH THEY ARE GOING TO GET THE WHAT FOR!!!!

Be Ardata ===>

She yelling at her? Why is Lyn yelling you're officially confused. 

“- Oh? So !!!you!!! think that !!!you!!! are better than !!!us!!! Me and Ardata are ten times better than you and him could !!!DREAM!!! of being!!” 

What's happening? 

Be Konyyl ===>

You are now Konyyl, if this girl thinks her and her preppy blue blood are better than her and Azdaja she's got another thing coming! 

“i know me and daja are ten times cooler than you and your stupid preppy BLUEBLOOD” 

“-And what is wrong with !!!blue bloods!!! huh?” 

You laugh loudly, how about everything? 

Be Lynera ===>

This stupid girl is just! being! so! Stupid!!!! 

“-Yeah and what's so great about !!!gold bloods!!! They're apparent inability to shower!” Seriously that guy smells like a trash can.

“||| Oh that's not me, that's Konyyl |||” He said with a chuckle. What! The! Fuck! 

Be Ardata ===>

This must be some kind of weird joke! 

This is just some funny joke that you don't get! You'll ask Lynera when you get hive and she’ll laugh and tell you about how funny this is! 

Hahahahahahahahah!!!!! It'll be so funny, because there is no way that anything is happening here!!

Be Lynera again 

What she just doesn't shower is that it! What the hell! And she has the nerve to even think that they're better than her and Ardata! You're going to lose it!!!! 

“-I should have known a bottom feeder like !!!you!!! can't take care of herself!” 

Be Konyyl ===>

“geez talk about a FUSSYFANGS” 

“that upset to hear I'm not visiting the ablution trap” 

“-I am !!!NOT!!! flirting with you!” 

“-And I am DEFINITELY not doing it !!!pale ways!!!” 

Be Azdaja ===>

Damn Konyyl sure is being loud over there, you're not really listening. You're just kind of hungry honestly, you just wanted to eat, get the money and leave. The blueblood across from you also seems to want to leave. 

Be Ardata ===>

You're Ardata and you DID NOT fight fang and claw to get into this snobby restaurant only to be embarrassed by these two! 

They are acting ridiculous after all your efforts to get them a nice dinner! You are fucking livid! 

Be Lynera ===>

She thinks you're flirting? Far from it!!! You hate this girl!!! 

Wait not like hate hate, just like platonic hate! Ughhh Fuck this girl for confusing you!!! 

And she's just looking at you and chuckling? Fuck her!!

You stand up and slam your hand on the table. “-You need to !!!shut!!! !!!your!!! !!!mouth!!! you are making a scene! Look at all these people staring at us!” 

Be Konyyl ===>

Oh fuck there are people staring at you, that's never good. 

You hope daja doesn't get mad, he hates it when you get kicked out of places.

Be Ardata ===>

Where the fuck is the waiter maybe if they eat they'll shut up! There's a worker! You grab her by the arm.

“Take our order please” you plead with her without letting her go. 

She shakes her head emphatically. 

“You can't say no! Do you know who iii am? iii am Arda-” She interrupts by tapping her name tag loudly, fuck it has a blue sign on it. Shit!!

“please?” She shakes her head even more emphatically and dashed into the kitchen.


	17. Epilogue Month Day 12: Trans Rights!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a squeal to the fic where they adopt Troll Will Smith. The idea was that Troll Will Smith would could out as a trans girl, but I decided it might be insulting to use the trans fic for a joke character.

Your name is Dave Strider and tomorrow is your son's birthday. You and Karkat have pulled out all the stops, 13 is big one after all. 

Because tomorrow is his day with his cousins and school friends, today you and Karkat plan to drag him all around the planet. 

The three of you do so excitedly, ride the train for great ice cream in the Human Kingdom, you see a movie, have lunch, go to a zoo and then finally sit down for dinner. 

“alrighty birthday boy what'll it be?” You make sure to say the birthday boy part extra loud, you think this is one of those places that sings and gives you free dessert.


	18. Day 4: AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day four of Epilogue Month, again it was boring af

It started simple, but weird, just like all things sburb. 

Sollux got a doom symbol over the bridge of his nose.

John got a breath symbol over his sternum.

Karkat got a blood symbol on the edge of his hairline.

Kanaya got a space symbol on her left cheek.

Rose got a light symbol over her stomach.

Dave got a time symbol across his whole torso.

Jade got a space symbol on the back of her head. 

Aradia got a time symbol over her heart.

Jane got a life symbol just below her chest.

Jake got a hope symbol surrounding his mouth.

Roxy got a void symbol over her stomach.

Dirk got a heart symbol on his neck.

Calliope got a space symbol just below her knee.

Terezi got a mind symbol over her heart.

It all happened in that order and no one knew why, apparently the sprites knew what the pattern was, but it was somehow important for you all to figure it out on your own. 

No one even really cared until it started growing. Everyone understood their own new mark, but no one could decipher anyone else's. Later you all figured it out, but only after the marks were complete. 

There are a minimum of four layers, the core aspect is the center, your biggest issues or flaws are your second layer, your perfect match are your middle layers and the outermost are your basic interests. 

That shit was hard as fuck to decode, and it left you all (mostly just the girls) with one question; Why are they where they are? 

Rose was stuck on that mystery for a while, then Karkat figured out why the layers are the way they are, the center was supposed to be the most hidden and the outer layer the most visible. 

That just made Rose even more curious as to why people like poor Sollux had it right in the center of their fucking face. 

It turned out that each mark started in the place where your 'first' death killed you. Which really made Rose lose her fucking marbles, she ruled out that theory the first time she heard it for two reasons. 

Those reasons are named Terezi and Aradia. 

Aradia died from the rubble of her old hive crushing her on Alternia, this should have resulted in a head mark. Terezi died in the flames of Prospit, one would assume that since Kanaya died that way as well, Terezi's


	19. Day 10: Shipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea how to end this one so I didn't! It was Day 10 of Epilogue month.

You're name is Kanaya Maryam, you've had a very long day. Luckily for you, you have a beautiful wife, who has already informed you that she has big plans for a date night tonight. 

This would be the reason you have all your nice outfits laid out in front of you, there's just too many choices! 

You have you're all black dress, Rose really likes that one, but honestly it's not your style you think you'll just give it to her honestly. Of course there's your classic all red dress, but you wear that all the time! The black and white one is pretty and you barely wear it, but it just doesn't feel right. 

Maybe your hero of space suit? It looks sharp and Rose loves it, it goes in the maybe pile. Wait has she even seen it? If memory serves the one who saw it was Jade, back when you gave her the captcha. 

You try on the suit, it still fits perfectly. This will be the outfit! You fix your makeup to match your outfit a bit better and comb through your hair. After that you're finally ready. 

You leave your castle and wait for the car Rose has informed you she sent. 

A few minutes later it arrives and the nice man at the wheel drives you to a lovely restaurant in the Prospitian district. Once you pull up and the car stops the driver jumps out and opens the car door for you. 

Rose is waiting by the door of the restaurant. She's in her hero of light dress, the same one she wore on the night of your first date and your first kiss. She looks even more stunning in it than she did then. 

“Hello darling.” You greet her while getting down on one knee to kiss her hand. She gently pulls you up by your hand and shows you into the restaurant. 

It's completely empty in the dining room, all the main lights are out and the room it lit entirely by the soft yellow lighting of the garlands and a few candles on the tables.

In the middle of the room is of the tables with candles, at that table Rose pulls a chair out and guides you into its seat. Once you've been seated she leans over and kisses you on the cheek.

“This is a lovely place Rose, I didn't even know it was here.” You remark as Rose takes the seat across from you. She nods.

“Indeed, it’s actually fairly new. A family business that was very eager to lend us the place.” She begins to sip a white liquid from her cup, it better be water. 

Wait. Lend? 

“You don't mean you got this place for free?” 

“Oh no certainly not, but it wasn't hard to rent.” Oh good, you know some of you aren't afraid to use your status to get things, but you're very proud you and Rose have yet to do that. 

She must see you thought she says “I wouldn’t steal from them Kanaya, I know how you feel about that.” She leans over the small table and places her hand in the middle, you hold her hand. 

“I know that you know, its challenging to find something you don’t.”

“There’s lots of things I don’t know.” She has no chance to elaborate on what she means because the food arrives at your table. 

It's old Alternian food, a real rarity in the Carapace Kingdom or really anywhere other than the Troll Kingdom. It’s also your favorite kind of food.


	20. Tfw When Your Depression is Undiagnosed in Teen Years so as an Adult You Can't Function

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was Day 13 of Epilogue month, its finished and edited. I had a reason for not posting it but I do not remember why.

“Hey Dirk?” You say, leaning against the arm of your couch, your legs tangled with Dirk’s.

“Yeah?” He replies without opening his eyes.

“How is it we're the only ones like this?” You say with your head tilted towards the ceiling. 

“Like what, John?” He says finally directing his attention to you. 

“You know what I mean! All depressed and shit!” 

“We're hardly the only ones with issues John.” 

“I know, but we're the only ones sitting around like dumb sacks of shit! We're supposed to be running the planet, but instead people have to bring us food and make sure we don't kill ourselves!” 

He sighs and sits up straight. Finally, time for a real conversation.

“John, I could write you a fucking paper on why that's the case, but honestly we’re not the only ones doing this. Equius and Hal stay in their house so much some citizens think they're not real.” It takes you a moment to realize who he’s talking about.

“You mean ARquius? I mean I guess no one's seen him, but isn’t he like in love with himself or something?” You remember there was some bullshit going on there, you're pretty sure of it.

“Arquius split John, turns out if your sprite explodes after victory you just get the shit back, so Equius and Hal are separate beings again. They're just that reclusive.” Damn. 

“But, I know what you mean. Everyone else seems successful, like they're living their best lives while we do nothing. I get that.” Exactly! Finally the point. 

“I just try not to think about it.” He finishes.


	21. A Day in the Life of my Favorite Homestuck Character.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was just too tired to edit this one. It was Day 14 of epilogue month.

Your name is Gcatavrosprite, you go by Gcatav and recently a lot more things too! You're a leader, a boyfriend, and a god. You never thought you'd be any of those things! 

All that said, you're very happy. You wake up in your home at five sharp everyday and get ready to rule, which is what your doing now! 

You start by brushing your hair and fur. You never had an issue with your hair before you became a sprite, but ever since you got cat legs your fur just will not cooperate! It takes a good half hour to fix that up, then you can get dressed and walk to work. 

You always walk and say hi to consorts who pass by, they're all so nice! They nak and glub as you go by, giving you hugs, high fives and fist bumps. This kingdom fucking rules. 

After the short walk to work, you go up to you're shared office with Dirk and Jake. Neither of them are here of course. They're never here. Well, not never, Jake comes up a lot, but he doesn't really use the space. Dirk is the one who's never up here, he's busy with other projects. 

So yeah, it's just you up here, but you like it. You get to play you're music and work in peace, back on Alternia quiet moments were the best, no Vriska, no FLARPing, no stress, just you and Tinkerbull. You still love that feeling, it's a break from your usual anxiety, plus its impossible to mess up the Consort Kingdom.

You spend the next hour in your office and then find there's nothing to do. You tidy up a bit and then go grab breakfast, salamanders have some awesome restaurants. 

You go to a nearby spot to eat and sit down with some salamander salad. It's literally all they serve here, but every time you get it it's different, half the time it's not even salad. It's always great though! This time it's just leaves and eggs, this does not put you off at all, you're actually pretty hungry. 

As you begin eating, a handsome muscular man sits across from you, you look up to see your boyfriend with his own bowl of salad, his is just leaves. You trade. 

"Hey Jake!" You say with joy before kissing his cheek. 

"Hello! Someone forgot to take care of his ears this morning!" He says while leaning over to pet your ears, you know he's just straightening out your fur, but you love it! The cat half of you leans in to it and purrs. Jake grins. 

"Well there mister, someone seems to be enjoying this hmm?" He asks suggestively. You jerk your head up, blushing furiously. 

"No! Well, I mean yes! But not like that!" You say in indignation, it's so embarrassing when he says that stuff, it's not like that! 

Hes giggling at you. You pretend to hit him, he giggles even more. You throw a leaf at him, you're still just adding fuel to the fire. 

"You suck!" He keeps giggling, but he's finally cooking down. 

He's still smiling widely when he speaks, "I know it's not like that, it's just too much fun teasing you!" 

He's evil, why do you date him? 

Just kidding! He's not evil and you date him because you love him and he's the only person you feel really comfortable around anymore since all of your old friends either died or moved on! 

Now you're sad. 

"C'mon on now tavy! No need to pout, all jokes aside I just thought I'd ask you on a date!" 

Oh hell yeah, you are no longer sad. Shit rules.


	22. Day 15: Gamzee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really ran out of energy near the half way point of epilogue month lmao

LOTAK should be a horrible travel destination, no species can breathe there and half the planet is a lava hole. Unfortunately for students everywhere these two things tend to make it a hotspot for science field trips, because on Earth C toxic planets are viewed as more scientifically interesting than dangerous. 

This works to the advantage of three young boys currently running away from their teacher and the rest of their class. These three boys are not only trouble makers, but also have it in their heads that there's a cryptid on the planet. So the three middle schoolers hunt while their class searches for them. It only takes two hours for the boys to be found, but they also found something on their trip.

\---------------

You are now Gamzee Makara


	23. Day 18: Retcon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was gonna be funny I wish I woulda finished it.

Your name is John Egbert and you're currently on a date with your old crush Roxy Lalonde. She's a beautiful woman and you're so glad to be- 

"OOF!" You grunt loudly as the wind is knocked out of you by a punch to the gut. You look up and see yourself surrounded by a fading blue glow. 

"What are you doing idiot!!! What the fuck are you doing!!" He yells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway this is all for now! Skyllas chapter is just about done being written and I'll probably rush editing for yall.


End file.
